(Some excerpts from my notes during my meditation retreat in India)
The mind being made to meditate is a counter process to its existence. Mind which is a collection of infinite thoughts thrives on it. The process of making the mind to meditate makes it quite uncomfortable especially the first time when its undertaken. The mere ability to observe and listen has been time memorial considered to be the characterstic of wise persons.
Day 1
My first day of meditation in Tiruvanamalai also was not an easy task. Suddenly when I started the process, thoughts seemed to have bombarded me and the mind was lost in many eclectic events. This happened especially because I was meditating properly after a long time. It is like a process when there are so many insects in a room and disinfectant is sprayed to clean it creating chaos at the beginning. The process of observing your own thoughts is an exercise undertaken by very few individuals. The resistance for silence or meditation is so huge in the mind as it rightly understands the cataclysmic impact it would entail. When the process of 'enquiry' calms the mind with lesser thoughts and eventually when a thoughtless state is reached, recent scientific evidence also shows that there is some positive transformation that occurs in the brain.The silence reminds me of the process when there is perfect servicing and cleaning of the mind like of a car done in an effecient car repair shop.
At the end of first days meditation, the dreams experienced at night were more vivid and there were thoughts that emanated from early childhood. The dreams sometimes are quite weird. Here I don't think Freud's interpretation would be right as it is not always fulfillment of my desires consciously or unconsiously. The scattering of thoughts seems to me to be a sign of thoughts beings unbundled and would eventually cast away its moorings.
Day 2
Early morning innocuous alarm woke me up and I felt that the sleep was sufficient. After having wonderful idlee's and upma for breakfast along with a fine filter coffee, I went back to my room to read and relax a bit. Lunch is early but is really a paradise for the mouth. Then I had a short nap after which I went to the meditation room in the afternoon. This was the main hall during Ramana Maharshi's time where he used to sit in silence transmitting his teachings in silence. In a sense there is no teaching. The only teaching is to know 'Who am I'. The answer lies within everyone and has to be found or has to be identified. To be precise there is no identifier or anything to be identified, there is the process when 'I' perishes and 'Self' prevails.
The meditation started with lesser thoughts and there was more calmness. The meditation went for more than 1 hour and after that I went for the evening tea. I thought of buying some books as I had not much to read. After getting the books I went to my room and the process of reading was much easier with mind reduced of distractions.
With every proceeding day of calmness in the mind, the memory seems to be in full power with great retention abilities and there was a sense of fulfillment and joy experienced in every moment. Being alone literally didn't make me to think about others. The silence makes the mind enjoy the moment which theoretically it has swallowed and said many times. This time I realised this distinctly when I was in no mood to talk to anyone as I was really rejoicing and fully observed with myself in silence. 'Fully absorbed in oneself' may seem like a egoistic exercise swimming in one's (ego's) own thoughts. But here the ego was diminished and it was as if flowing with the wave.
Meeting ST
Meeting a person with no ego is a great experience and event which rarely happens in once lifetime. And a person with no memory who literally lives in the present is even rarer. It was a sort of a magical experience being with such a person and listening to his talks. Magical realism seems more real when I heard ST speak. There was no doubt in my mind that what he was saying was true, but to an outsider it might seem all airy.
Is not time the most puzzling and distorting thing to us.
The mind being made to meditate is a counter process to its existence. Mind which is a collection of infinite thoughts thrives on it. The process of making the mind to meditate makes it quite uncomfortable especially the first time when its undertaken. The mere ability to observe and listen has been time memorial considered to be the characterstic of wise persons.
Day 1
My first day of meditation in Tiruvanamalai also was not an easy task. Suddenly when I started the process, thoughts seemed to have bombarded me and the mind was lost in many eclectic events. This happened especially because I was meditating properly after a long time. It is like a process when there are so many insects in a room and disinfectant is sprayed to clean it creating chaos at the beginning. The process of observing your own thoughts is an exercise undertaken by very few individuals. The resistance for silence or meditation is so huge in the mind as it rightly understands the cataclysmic impact it would entail. When the process of 'enquiry' calms the mind with lesser thoughts and eventually when a thoughtless state is reached, recent scientific evidence also shows that there is some positive transformation that occurs in the brain.The silence reminds me of the process when there is perfect servicing and cleaning of the mind like of a car done in an effecient car repair shop.
At the end of first days meditation, the dreams experienced at night were more vivid and there were thoughts that emanated from early childhood. The dreams sometimes are quite weird. Here I don't think Freud's interpretation would be right as it is not always fulfillment of my desires consciously or unconsiously. The scattering of thoughts seems to me to be a sign of thoughts beings unbundled and would eventually cast away its moorings.
Day 2
Early morning innocuous alarm woke me up and I felt that the sleep was sufficient. After having wonderful idlee's and upma for breakfast along with a fine filter coffee, I went back to my room to read and relax a bit. Lunch is early but is really a paradise for the mouth. Then I had a short nap after which I went to the meditation room in the afternoon. This was the main hall during Ramana Maharshi's time where he used to sit in silence transmitting his teachings in silence. In a sense there is no teaching. The only teaching is to know 'Who am I'. The answer lies within everyone and has to be found or has to be identified. To be precise there is no identifier or anything to be identified, there is the process when 'I' perishes and 'Self' prevails.
The meditation started with lesser thoughts and there was more calmness. The meditation went for more than 1 hour and after that I went for the evening tea. I thought of buying some books as I had not much to read. After getting the books I went to my room and the process of reading was much easier with mind reduced of distractions.
With every proceeding day of calmness in the mind, the memory seems to be in full power with great retention abilities and there was a sense of fulfillment and joy experienced in every moment. Being alone literally didn't make me to think about others. The silence makes the mind enjoy the moment which theoretically it has swallowed and said many times. This time I realised this distinctly when I was in no mood to talk to anyone as I was really rejoicing and fully observed with myself in silence. 'Fully absorbed in oneself' may seem like a egoistic exercise swimming in one's (ego's) own thoughts. But here the ego was diminished and it was as if flowing with the wave.
Meeting ST
Meeting a person with no ego is a great experience and event which rarely happens in once lifetime. And a person with no memory who literally lives in the present is even rarer. It was a sort of a magical experience being with such a person and listening to his talks. Magical realism seems more real when I heard ST speak. There was no doubt in my mind that what he was saying was true, but to an outsider it might seem all airy.
Is not time the most puzzling and distorting thing to us.
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